So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
