Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you would pick up someone in the library
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
