i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
