She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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