I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
