I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
