are you so shy because you have an std?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
