U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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