Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you traded sex for a burrito?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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