I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
