Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
