it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
