she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
