The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
