I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
