we have officially lost it.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
