woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
