i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
