My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
