I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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