I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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