I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
