dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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