i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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