She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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