4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
