he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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