1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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