Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
foreskin is a definite game changer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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