you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
