Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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