I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
