The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
