The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
