you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
