DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
