I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And then he peed in my hair
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
