Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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