a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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