Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
