oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Quick, to the slutcave!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
