Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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