Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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