Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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