If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
