he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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