i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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