Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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