A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
