after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize