There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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