Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
