Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
