you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize