He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
