worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
