If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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