now i know why i became what i already was.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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