Non-Jews are for practice
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
