a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
