How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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