these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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