i was born a porn star she said
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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