i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
