I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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