Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
