Taylor Swift is so right about you.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
